Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Karma Is Such A Female Dog - That One Time It Paid Me Back

When people say Karma is a huge and major bitch, they are not kidding at all. No! they ain't kidding. Dang! You see, what goes around, comes around. If you like, run from here to New Zealand. Karma would still catch up with your butt sooner or later. No two ways about it. Sometimes we take things for granted and I have been used as an example now. A rather painful one. Here's the story and I know all of you would laugh at me. I'm ready.

I relocated to Lagos State recently. Enugu fresh boy, I was feeling fly and stuff. Olodo like me. But what else could I be or aspire to be except a fresh boy. Kidding though. It was really not an easy thing getting used to the terrain but as an Igbo boy, we survive any weather, Odogwu! As a JJC (Johnny Just Come), there's always a need for me to navigate. From home to work and work to home. So buses are the only hope as the 'Fresh' boy doesn't have a car. We make do buy car biko. I have always heard that Lagos drivers and bus conductors are mean as hell but my case was different. These folks were 'nice' to me. Always 'forgetting' to collect the bus fares from me. Sometimes, I wanna remind them but that evil part of me would always be like "Walk fast!, just keep on walking, don't look back!".

I was busy enjoying this 'luxury' and dearest Karma was busy marking my register. I felt so elated to the extent that I even made a post on Facebook about it. I thought I was invisible. Everyone thought it was funny, including myself. Kai. I knew someday, I will pay for all that stuff. I delicately pointed out that Karma would do something while replying a comment to Smiles'Christie Jalija.

Fast forward to present day, I was told to report to work on Saturday. The thing got me all disoriented for that weekend. Some of my appointments were shifted to sunday and while the rest were postponed to the next saturday. I woke up as usual with a cheerful face nonetheless. I had gists with my friend and made funny snapchat videos. We headed out together. He had to use a Taxi, so I tagged along and they dropped me off at Anthony Bus Stop. "Oshod! Oshodi Oke!! Oshod!!!" the conductor called. And I'm like "Aha, that's my ride". So I hurriedly entered the bus and then it happened.

I held my phone on my right hand and messenger bag rested on my left shoulder while I also supported it with my left hand. I had not taken my seat when the 'blessed' driver moved the bus. I was thrown off balance, my phone flew away from my right hand and landed painfully on the express road. I felt this sharp pain in my chest. I kept holding my chest while the Conductor went to pick up the phone. My chest was still doing 'kpum, kpum, kpum'. He brought the phone and the screen was damaged in such a way that I could see Karma smiling at me from it. I was quiet all through the bus ride (that's how I express anger). Other passengers and the driver kept telling me sorry. I kept mute. In my mind wondering if the 'Sorry' would fix the screen. It's done, it's done. I kept thinking and thinking. My face was squeezed as hell.

I alighted from the bus and ventured to pay, I laughed at myself, "now you want to pay lmao". The conductor told me to forget about the money and I'm like "Ehn, Ogbeni take your money before the next one that breaks is my Laptop screen. By the way, what will N50 do in fixing the phone?" I made sure he collected the money. Work was somehow fun so it took my mind of it. But when I went home, I was just thinking, "Na so Karma be?" From that day, I pay before even sitting down.

That's how Karma used me as an example for people. Now I'm at Carlcare paying heavily for my N50 and N100 sins.

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