Have You Almost Missed Your Flight? - Remind Me Never To Book An Early Morning Flight

I had engagements to meet up with, in Enugu, so I just had to book a morning flight. Otherwise, I'd have slept my way through, gone in the evening and would have saved myself from the whole ordeal.

Naturally, I'm someone who keeps to time, so I woke up by 5am.  Showered and did all the man things to look sexy but at the end of the day, "Who sexy epp?". I had planned that I would leave the house by 6am but when it got to the said time, the driver who was meant to pick me had switched off his phone and was inaccessible. Apparently, my dear driver man had been misinformed that my flight was 6pm and not 6am. Who misinformed him? I don't know. People from his village I suppose.

By 6:10am, I knew that waiting for this 'Oga' would cost me my flight. That's how I started looking for alternatives. In my confusion, my friend burst in, "Duke, Use Uber nah". "Which one be Uber again?! That thing go cost and as you see me so, I no get money jor", I retorted. After much convincing, I decided to use Uber. I'm not going to advertise the app by talking about it, they should pay me first!

The Uber guy came and journey to MMA2 started. "Bros, you go drive fast because as e be so, I go lose my flight", I kept on repeating this. He was fast enough and then we got to the airport. It was time to pay and the trouble started. The trip fair was just N500 but my debtor of a friend had an outstanding balance of over N3200 and the Uber wasn't gonna let me go or else he is settled. "Which kind Incubus and Saccubus be this wan this morning?", I asked my self. I slipped my hands into my back pack, brought out the money and painfully paid the money. I could literally feel pain in my chest. I started walking to the departure while cussing the living daylight out of my friend who made me get into the Uber. "If only the designated driver had shown up", I thought to myself.

I got to the domestic flights departure lounge, ventured to check-in and was greeted with, "Sir, check-in for the flight to Enugu is over". My head first rang - gbagam! I didn't have money to go back home, I can't get on a flight too, somebody shoot me already. I switched to pidgin immediately, "Una go kill me for here today be that!". Everyone on the queue turned to look at me but I really didn't give two flying bees as to get to Enugu was my goal.

The lady checking in asked me if I had any luggage and I told her I had just my back pack, 'shikena'. She quickly checked me in and told me to hurry. I carried my 'kaya' and started running to board. In my mind I was like, "Today na for Aeroplane Tyre I go dey enter Enugu".

Got to the security checkpoint. They asked me to remove my laptop and my sneakers. I just went weak......

I snapped out of the weakness in a matter of nano seconds and I just pulled off my 'Aba made' Puma Fenty Sneakers without removing untying the laces. I passed through the whole thing, held my laptop with my left hand, my sneakers with my right hand while my bag was strapped to my shoulder and started racing to enter 'aelonprane' with my heart doing 'kpum kpum kpum'.

I was the last passenger to get inside and everyone was already seated. I could see their judgy eyes looking at me especially one man with a naked chin who was fixated on my beards. "20B, 20B, 20B", I kept repeating, it was the seat allocation for me. To me, I was repeating this in my mind but little did I know that my mouth was doing the same thing, slightly aloud. My fellow concerned Nigerians kept pointing and pointing until I got to my seat.

I carefully placed back my laptop in my bag and stored my bag. Sat on my seat and never bothered to wear back my sneakers. Strapped myself in with the seat belt and I gently drifted off. Apparently, I have experienced some sort of stress to drift off that way.

"Bros, we are in Enugu now", said the gentleman beside me while tapping me to wake up  from my slumber. He had helped me keep my inflight snack. I picked my sneakers up, got my back pack, and walked down the steps of the plane to the arrival lounge with just my socks on.

 As I walked to the arrival lounge on socks alone - sneakers in hand, I kept telling myself, "Emeka, If dem born you well, if you know say dem really born you well, book early morning flight again, anu mpam".

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