Tuesday, 12 September 2017

Labels And Tags

I am male.
I am female.
I am black.
I am white.
I am a Negroid.
I am a Mongoloid.
I am Hispanic.
I am Caucasian.

The Water Splashing Experience, Again

I tell people most times, life teaches us a lot with little things around us. Little experiences here, little difficulties there. We just have sit down and reflect on every little thing that happens to us directly, indirectly, to people around us, and in our vicinity.

I learn more from these experiences than whatever I have learnt in school. Today, I learnt again, and I want to share.

I woke as usual and prepared to head out, then the rain started. It was unexpected. And I hate going out in the rain for just one reason; BEING SPLASHED WATER BY SOME BLOODY CAR. I waited for the rain to subside, and of course, it did. It was time to take my bloody plonker self to work.

Got out of the house, got into a bike taking me to the bus stop. Seemed like a pretty good ride as the weather had been cooled by the downpour of the rain. The breeze caressed my beards that I almost got married to it. It was like enjoying 10 minutes of non-stop romance, but enough about the breeze 😏.

There was an Honda Pilot SUV in front of me. Oh I hate Honda Pilots. This was the first vehicle that splashed water on me when I first came to Lagos, I had to go back to home to change. Silly SUV. But, if you buy it for me I would still thank you. The car was going at some sort of speed as if the owner was late for work because he was having an early morning romp with his side chick. Mind you, not wife, side chick. Only a side chick could give such speed. This pace continued until he splashed water on some guy on the other side.

Chai, it was not a good sight. This was worse than mine. The guy just stood there dejected. I could feel his pain as I have been through this before from an Honda Pilot!
What are the odds of that... I was like "Aww eeyah, he's going home to change, no two ways about it".
I felt so sorry for him. Naija nawa.... Let's blame Buhari

I was still 'Awwing' when one SUV that God might punish the owner splashed water on me! I screamed, "Fuck!, Just fuck!!". The other guy who had earlier been splashed looked my way and started laughing. I laughed too but on a serious note, it really wasn't funny. Erm...maybe, just maybe the way I screamed like an 'Americana' was funny. The splash on me wasn't that bad, but on the other guy, lol, let's not go there.

I continued my journey to work and my reflections started. You see, in this life, nothing is constant, it's constantly changing. What's good this minute could be horrible the next minute. When people are going through bad times or rough patches in life, that's not the time to laugh at them or point their flaws, who knows, you might be NEXT. Maybe that same thing was meant to happen to you too but you had been given a test by seeing someone else go through it and however you react to it determines the magnitude of how that circumstance happens to you too.

So I feel we just need share more love, helping hands and laughter to anyone regardless of who they are or what they are. Just treat them right for YOU JUST MIGHT BE NEXT.

Rising Above Sheer Pettiness

In every soul, there's a constant battle between good and evil. It is never-ending. Why though?
Okay, let me report myself.

There's this street I pass through every morning while heading to work and evening while heading back home. Everytime I pass, I see that they always have light in that street. While my own street, it's not like we don't have light o. We do, but not as much as these guys. Boy! These guys? Their light seems to be unblinking. That's like Utopia for me. Near-constant electricity.

This morning I passed through. Alas, there was no light. They've taken their light! For some reason best known to evil, I felt this joy! Unspeakable joy, that they took their light in that street.

 Ehen finally. Na only una go dey get light for this area? wetin sef?

After moving a few minutes away from the street, the joy turned into a reflection for me. Why was I happy that they took their light? Is that not just evil? Would the taking of their light add more electricity to mine? Why did I have joy then? Wow. I am not perfect however.
I realized that these things happen everyday! Like every single day, we humans just have some sort of relief at the downfall of our fellow brothers and sisters.

When we see someone doing better than us, we lay in wait, just hating, breeding jealousy and envy. Just expecting something bad to happen so we could have some sort of relief. We all have evil thoughts once in while, but it's also our duty to rise above it every single time it presents itself because like it or not, we are both good and evil. How you choose to act on your thoughts depends entirely on you. I do admit that I had that thought, but I had to call myself to order. That was horrible thinking and I have risen above it.

Yes there would be people who would do better than you in this world no matter how hard you try. Yes, at some point you would get jealous of them and all. But you must call yourself to order and rise above that pettiness. At least my reflections taught me that today.

The Intersex Nigerian - This Is A Rant

I saw a heartbreaking video of a boy who was publicly disgraced and ridiculed in the most dehumanizing way possible. I couldn't watch it to end as I was red with rage already. His offence was simple. Very simple. He was born an hermaphrodite(Intersex). He has the male and female genitalia. That's it. Shikena. Nothing else.

A boy that should be protected, loved and encouraged by his community that he is normal and like every other person in all ramifications, has gone through such ordeal from the same members of his community. We, Nigerians, are barbaric people sometimes. The most educated one amongst us could turn out to be the most idiotic. The bloody fool who had the time to make a video of that horrible experience, had no time to visit Google to educate himself that that's a biological occurrence. No he wouldn't, foolishness and stupidity have ravaged his senses like most idiotic Nigerians I know.

In Nigeria, we don't understand the principles of fundamental human rights. So what if he's an hermaphrodite? You couldn't leave him to live that same life in peace? You had to ridicule him that way? Did they ever stop to think what would go on mentally in the boy's head after this and he takes a drastic action? Like suicide? Because he feels he's not normal and doesn't deserve to live? Baby you are normal. That was how you were created. It's not your doing. I wish I could tell him all these physically. This is saddening.

In all our acts and deeds ,we should try to apply the 'What If' factor. What if he was your nephew. What if he was your son. What if he was your grandson. What if he was your cousin. What if he was your friend. What if he was you.

I wonder when we would learn. I wonder when we would rise above our non-exposure. I wonder when we would stop reasoning and acting like savages and barbarians. I wonder when we would have common sense.

The most infuriating part is some of us found it amusing and shared it, maybe for others to have good laugh I reckon. Are we all not sick in the skull? Are we not just utterly stupid? Are we all not nincompoops? You're laughing because you have a 'normal' penis. You're laughing because you have a 'normal' vagina. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your ancestors should be ashamed of you. Your unborn children should be ashamed of you.

Nigerians, learn.

Dear Men

Dear men,
Have you ever listened to lyrics of this song? Or better still, have you watched the video?

Tuesday, 9 May 2017

Karma Is Such A Female Dog - That One Time It Paid Me Back

When people say Karma is a huge and major bitch, they are not kidding at all. No! they ain't kidding. Dang! You see, what goes around, comes around. If you like, run from here to New Zealand. Karma would still catch up with your butt sooner or later. No two ways about it. Sometimes we take things for granted and I have been used as an example now. A rather painful one. Here's the story and I know all of you would laugh at me. I'm ready.

Monday, 1 May 2017

Why I Stopped Jogging

I have never told anyone why I stopped my morning jog routine back in Enugu. I always figured that one day, when I've come to regain myself from the shock, I would tell someone. But why tell someone when you can tell a lot of people? This might sound crazy but hey, it's my story, you didn't experience it with me. I hope to narrate this the best way I can so you all get the message but if you don't, you can just re-read.

Saturday, 29 April 2017

Letter To My Late Best Friend - Remembering Clement

Dear Clement,
I’m sure we can all agree that fate made a terrible mistake with you. Going so soon was not the initial agreement or was it? Maybe a glitch happened and you were gone. I miss you every single day, which is surprising, I barely miss people.
You were one of the sources of joy in my life. You had a way of lightening up my soul in split seconds. I always wondered how you did that. You were a super human. Little wonder it took me more than year to finally come to accept that you were really gone.

Wednesday, 26 April 2017

The Injustice Of Nnamdi Kanu's Bail Terms - Biafran Struggle

First, let me start by saying. All you South-East Governors: Shame on all of you, one by one. Unu ncha nine. Where is your spirit of Brotherhood. Nwanne gi no na nga, irapu ya tufu iru. Tufia unu!
The same Yoruba people we called weaklings had one of their own come out to support Nnamdi Kanu in court. Governor Ayo Fayose was present. No South-Eastern Governors was in sight. Unu ncha bu... Let me just shut up here. You are my elders.

Friday, 21 April 2017

Opinion - God And The Devil (Their Fates Are Interwined)

The more I hear about God and the Devil, the more my school of thought registers them as two powerful cosmic energies that can not do without one another to survive.
Just the same way electricity needs the positive and negative terminals to flow effectively. In the case of God and the Devil, I'm inclined to think no being is greater than the other but most have been made to believe that one is greater while the greater one doesn't get to destroy or surpress the less great one because 'he' supposedly 'wiser'.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

You Don't Need To Have The Whole World In Order To Give

Why is that it's the ones who have so little that give so much? The rich give out of the abundance of their pockets but the poor, they give out of the abundance of their hearts. Let me tell you a story of what happened to me a few hours ago.

The spirit of being broke had been hovering over my bank account until I got a N3000 alert during the week. I rushed like a mad dog to the ATM to withdraw N2000. As e dey hot. I satisfied myself with it and I was happy with myself. At least, I ate chicken.

Sunday, 12 March 2017

Who I Am - I Am Duke Okafor

I have done a lot of things that I am not proud of, and I accept them wholeheartedly.
I have done a lot of things that I am proud of, and I commend myself.
I have failed. And I have also achieved.
I have regretted and I have been fulfilled.
I have been honest to a fault most times and I have also lied.
I have hurt people and I have been hurt too.
I have been called a Saint and also a bloody sinner.

Saturday, 25 February 2017

Africa - Are We Cursed As A Continent And As A People?

If it's not insurgency today, it's xenophobic attacks tomorrow. The day after tomorrow it's famine and rotten economies. And we often wonder why? Nearly all African countries have leaders but really have no leaders. These so-called tyrants get into power through means portrayed to be 'democratic' but underneath, it isn't. They get on the 'throne' and can not walk the talk.

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Much Ado About Big Brother Nigeria

I've always said this and I would keep on ringing it out - Most Nigerians are stupid. Very stupid and unconstructive sense-wise. What's with the petition against BBN? Is this the first Big Brother? It won't even be the last.  Oya, go beat them.

Monday, 20 February 2017

How I Met Flavour Na'bania The Musician

"Take your time, I'm not in a rush", he said with a calm voice. He wasn't actually smiling but he wasn't frowning either. My hands kept trembling for no good reason, my palms kept sweating and I couldn't finish the simple task I was given. What was this task? This task was to simply write down my number on a piece of paper. 'Shikena'! Just that!! And I almost urinated on myself.

The Seasonal Water Ravines Of Ugwuaji, Enugu State - Life And It's Instability

I live in Enugu. I don't live in the metropolis. I live in a small village close to it. This village is called Ugwuaji. It's more or less a place where students come to get cheaper accommodation at the expense of the 'good life' that the metropolis provides.

Thursday, 16 February 2017

How My School-mum Was Finally Rewarded

Secondary school was a phase in my life that shaped me to an extent. The school itself and whatever they represented was all balderdash to me. I never liked school, I don't think I ever will. I have a certain 'problem' of challenging authority. Got me into trouble then, still gets me into trouble now.

Wednesday, 15 February 2017


I had engagements to meet up with, in Enugu, so I just had to book a morning flight. Otherwise, I'd have slept my way through, gone in the evening and would have saved myself from the whole ordeal.

Monday, 6 February 2017

The Spider And The Ant - Just Survive

Right there, just right there in my room was where it happened. You know, sometimes, I feel my eyes directs me to things to teach me a lesson or two. Sometimes, it's the people I meet or the decisions I make in life.

Sunday, 5 February 2017

'Who Are You?' Wahala - I Am Not Understanding

Hey guys, I need your help in understanding this. I'm serious here.

Friday came. I was home but I didn't wash my clothes because I didn't go out much in the week. I decided to do it the next saturday or whenever the 'ogbanje' spirit that makes me wanna wash comes. The olodo spirit doesn't come when I need it the most. It was a lazy day, lazy as hell.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Why Are People So Wicked?

When they say the heart of man is desperately wicked, they weren't kidding! Truth is, man is man's own problem. People are wicked. Just utterly wicked and inhumane.

I was still very angry at Gabriel, my friend, who dragged me around Ogbete market in Enugu to look for an Infinix hot 4 phone for his sister. You see, this my friend is a very indecisive person and would drag you to ends of the market just to get something worth N1000 for N900. We all have that friend that annoys us but really what can we do? Do we kill them? No. I had lost my short Nokia USB cord and I was super pissed. Gabe was busy pacifying me all through.

Friday, 3 February 2017

We Give Power To Those Who Hurt Us

One friday in December 2016, my friend came to my room crying profusely like as if someone from his family died. At first, I was taken aback because he was the least person I expected to see cry. He has the whole macho thing going on for him, he's more built and taller than I am. So, ordinarily I just felt it would be hard for someone like that to shed tears.

Have I Been Conquered?

You saw me, you smiled.
Hence, I saw your inner child.
You never needed a welcome,
For before you had come.

A Man Or Woman That Wants To Cheat On You Would Still Do So

My dear sisters in the Lord. Hallelujah sombori!

Lemme tell you the plain truth. If you like cook heaven, hell and purgatory for your man. Cook 10-course meals, squeeze ajino moto inside stew, learn all the techniques of cooking from the hemispheres.


You Don't Know Me

It's funny how people who don't know you claim to be the custodian of your knowledge. And the ones who you have let seem to feel they have a distinction if it comes to you.

The Driver, The Twins And Me

I was coming back home yesterday after a quite stressful day of lil jobs I did. I took the bus and every Enugu resident knows how these buses could be very annoying but my goal was to get home, collapse on my beloved bed and black-out. Then, think about what to eat thereafter.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Are You A Shooting Bullet Or A Stagnant One?

I remember when I was taught how to use a gun. A pistol to be more precise and it was government issued. I wasn't just taught how to shoot at things. No. I learnt how to disassemble and reassemble it parts. The reasons for each part. How to pull the hammer and why it is pulled. The need for the safety part of it. How to load bullet in the case, switch off the safety, pull the hammer, pull the trigger and bam!

Letter To My Unborn Daughter, Akwaeke.

Dearest Akwaeke,

I'm writing this with hopes that you could come across it someday because the internet doesn't forget. In this digital world that you are born into, every thing bounces from server to server and leaves a digital imprint. It is always stored. There was a great rapper called 2Pac, sometimes we don't know if he is really dead or not. He did a song, basically a lyrical letter to his unborn child. Oh well, I'm writing mine.

The SABURI SHARAFA Effect - From Being Bullied To Champion

I  went out of the house today for the first time after coming to the west. You know, just walk around and see the town. I kept exploring until I met a face that seemed like a huge blast from my past.
It was SABURI SHARAFA! Why is this guy important? He was my classmate in primary school. No, that's not why he was important. SABURI SHARAFA was my BULLY in Primary school.
Jesus! This Nigga whooped the living daylight out of me in primary school. He would beat me on Monday and complete it on Tuesday. It's not like I never wanted to hit back but I had no penchant for violence, a trait I still retain.

Happy New Year

Dear 2017,

I don't usually resolve anything in the year until I assess the year for some days, and, thereafter make decisions I wanna. The previous year was somewhat horrible for me but I am grateful for the things I accomplished. At least, I acquired a Bachelor's degree in Electrical and Electronic Engineering. That should count for something.

New year came with a blast, like literally with a blast. I was awoken from my rather cold slumber by a firework sound that shook the burglary proofing at my window. It was three huge bangs, gboom! gboom!! gboom!!!. And in my mind I'm like, 'osetigo?'. The day was rather bland and while everyone was basking in it's euphoria, I was busy downtrodden by emotional bouts of slight depression. I missed myself, I missed my family, I missed Clement, I missed my innocence, I missed and missed. I quietly lay down and drifted into a long boring sleep and came to no resolve.